BEST HOLIDAY MOVIES
As your go-to source for insightful analysis, we’re also committed to delivering value to your holiday viewing experience. We’ve done the heavy...
As your go-to source for insightful analysis, we’re also committed to delivering value to your sports experience—especially as we gear up for the playoff race. Long-suffering fans ourselves, we know a thing or two about managing expectations when it comes to NFL standings.
We’ve done the heavy lifting (so you don’t have to) and curated a tier list of NFL teams ranked not by market performance but by their playoff contention status.
So, grab your game-day snacks and settle in, because understanding the tiers is as crucial as knowing your favorite team’s chances in the postseason!
OUR TIERS AND RANKINGS with superior teams perched on top and the worst teams feeding at the bottom.
OUR PERSPECTIVE
SUPERBOWL OR BUST | ||||||||||
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The Chiefs are like the kid in class who always gets an A—everyone else is just trying to keep up. Sorry, other teams, but you’re merely background noise in Mahomes’ highlight reel! | |||||||||
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The Lions are finally living up to the hype! Just remember, every time you get excited, there’s a chance they’ll pull a classic Lions move—like losing a game they should win! | |||||||||
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The Bills are the team that brings the best snacks to the party—everyone loves them! Just don’t let your hopes get too high; they have a knack for making fans sweat. |
PLAYOFF BOUND & PROUD | |||||||
The Eagles are soaring high, but let’s not forget how they love to keep fans on edge. Remember when you thought they were invincible? Spoiler alert: they’re not, and neither is your heart rate during games! | |||||||
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The Vikings are back and looking fierce! Just don’t remind them about their playoff history; it’s like bringing up that embarrassing family photo at Thanksgiving. | ||||||
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The Steelers are hanging in there like your uncle at Thanksgiving—grumbling but still showing up. Their defense is solid, but can we talk about that offense? It’s more inconsistent than your Wi-Fi signal! | ||||||
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The Ravens are solid, but can we talk about how they love to give fans heart attacks with their late-game antics? It’s like they’re trying to win the game and the “most stressful team” award simultaneously. |
SNEAKING INTO THE DANCE | |||||||
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The Broncos are hanging on by a thread. They’ve shown flashes of brilliance but often fall flat when it counts. Fans just hope they can ride this wave into the playoffs without crashing! | ||||||
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The Texans started strong but seem to be fading faster than your New Year’s resolutions. They might need to find some consistency or risk becoming just another “what could have been” story. | ||||||
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The Packers are still in the mix, but fans might want to brace themselves for another “will-they-won’t-they” season. It’s like watching a rom-com where the ending is always uncertain! | ||||||
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The Rams are struggling to find their identity this season. With more questions than answers, fans are left wondering if they should start planning for next year instead of clinging to playoff hopes. At this point, they might just be playing for a decent draft pick! | ||||||
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The Chargers have all the pieces but still manage to play like they’re in a perpetual game of “how can we mess this up?” Fans love them, but deep down, they know it’s never easy being a Chargers fan. |
HOPEFULS WITH A SIDE OF DOUBT | |||||||
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The Commanders are trying to prove they’re not just a one-hit wonder. They’ve got talent, but can they keep it together long enough for fans to stop holding their breath every game? | ||||||
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The Falcons are like that friend who always promises to show up but never does. They tease you with potential but leave you wondering if you should’ve just stayed home instead. |
PLAYING FOR PRIDE | |||||||
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The Dolphins are swimming in mediocrity, and it shows. They might make a splash now and then, but let’s be real—most fans would rather watch paint dry than endure another “almost” season. | ||||||
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The Seahawks are still in contention, but let’s face it—they’re about as reliable as your GPS during a road trip. You never know when they’ll take you off course! | ||||||
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The Cardinals have flashes of brilliance but often look lost on the field. It’s like watching someone try to parallel park—you just hope they don’t hit anything! | ||||||
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The Bucs have seen better days, and every game feels like a reminder of how far they’ve fallen since their Super Bowl win. At least you still have Tom Brady memes! | ||||||
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The Colts are like that friend who shows up to the party but doesn’t bring anything fun. They’ve had flashes of potential but often fall flat. Fans are left wondering if they’ll ever find a quarterback who can consistently lead them to victory. |
SORRY NOT SORRY | |||||||
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The Niners have been inconsistent this season. With injuries and lackluster performances, fans are left wondering if this team can find its footing before it’s too late! | ||||||
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The Bengals started the season with high expectations but have stumbled along the way. They’re like a rollercoaster ride—thrilling at times but mostly leaving fans feeling nauseous. With a few more wins, they could sneak into contention, but right now, they’re just trying to stay relevant! | ||||||
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The Saints are in dire straits with slim playoff chances. They need a miracle—or at least some competent quarterback play—to avoid another lost season. Good luck convincing your fans this isn’t déjà vu! | ||||||
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The Patriots are in full-on rebuilding mode, which is code for “we miss Tom Brady.” Fans can only reminisce about glory days while watching this current squad fumble around like it’s their first day on the field. | ||||||
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The Bears are playing for pride at this point. Fans just want to see some signs of life before heading into another long offseason filled with “what ifs.” | ||||||
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The Cowboys have become that friend who talks big game but never delivers. At this point, even their die-hard fans might be looking for other interests—like knitting or birdwatching. |
TEAR IT DOWN | |||||||
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The Browns are back at it again with another disappointing season. Fans deserve better than this rollercoaster ride of hope and despair—maybe next year will be “the year”? | ||||||
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The Jets are living proof that sometimes you can be worse than bad. They’ve become the punchline of every NFL joke. At this point, fans might just want to root for whoever plays them next! | ||||||
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The Titans are floundering this season and seem lost without their usual dominance. Fans might want to start looking for new hobbies instead of enduring another disappointing Sunday. | ||||||
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With more questions than answers, the Panthers need a miracle—or at least some competent quarterback play—to avoid another lost season. |
THE BOTTOM FEEDERS | |||||||
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The Jaguars were supposed to show improvement this year, but instead, they’re proving that some teams can’t escape their own incompetence. Time for another rebuild? | ||||||
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The Raiders have hit rock bottom and seem content digging deeper. Their fans deserve better than this circus act masquerading as an NFL team. | ||||||
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Has any offseason aged like milk faster than the Giants’? Their former $160 million quarterback isn’t even on the roster anymore—yikes! |
DISAGREE with any of our takes?
Have it out with your relatives...but maybe not on an empty stomach.
BTW, here's where you'll find today's games:
Happy Thanksgiving!
As your go-to source for insightful analysis, we’re also committed to delivering value to your holiday viewing experience. We’ve done the heavy...